"I said, 'No, I don't think so.'"

Well, as you may be able to tell from the last post, I feel like my mental health has suffered a minor nosedive along with the Cubs' collapse. I'm going to try for a little emotional distance here: more Jesus, less baseball. But I do have to share this glorious item, which I already emailed to about 50 of you last night, but which needs to be analyzed further here.

A summary definitely wouldn't do this piece justice; you'll have to read it, but we do need to discuss this:

"Matty was driving," Piniella said, "but we actually 'Googled' the trip, and we were 'Googled' to East Liverpool, Pa. Who in the heck knows? On the sheet we had, it was 'Cincinnati to Liverpool.' I was thinking, I was in Cincinnati three years, and I didn't remember a 'Liverpool' around the area."

Actually, there is no East Liverpool, Pa., but there is an East Liverpool, Ohio, which is near the Pennsylvania border. That's not exactly near Cincinnati, but let Piniella tell the story.

"I took a nap," Piniella said, "but right before I took a nap, we passed [Interstate] 75. I said, 'You know, Dayton is only about 40 miles from Cincinnati.' But we kept going because we kept following the map.

"When I woke up, we were 80, 90 from Cleveland, Ohio," Piniella said. "I said, 'No, I don't think so.'

Let me try to explain how I felt when I read these words. A few years ago, my father announced that he was getting my mother an iPod for her birthday. I told a friend who knows my parents about this, and she said in a tone of undisguised horror, the exact horror I felt, "ALLISON, she is not going to know how to use THAT."

And that exactly captures my response to Lou's report of "being Googled" to East Liverpool, PA (which doesn't exist). That man should not be using Google, nor any other modern technology. It's just not right, and this is what it leads to: people driving in the exact wrong direction in the opposite end of the state, yet continuing because "we kept following the map."

Eventually they stopped at a gas station and - oh, just read the whole thing, it's great. If this is the only good baseball thing to come my way for a while, well, I'll take it.